Catch up!

 

- tired in bed watching the sea....

 

I say this every damn time but I promise you I don't mean to leave big gaps between posts in my personal blog. Things have been a bit crazy here but once I decided it was best to not “Duck and Cover” I started gathering what I needed to not only move forward but to do it peacefully. Basically I'm doing an absolute TONNE of re branding, re designing, of all my creative works into one cohesive space. All of my art, my music, my creative writing, my poems and all the bits and pieces in between are all going in one space. I physically do not have the time to chase around 7 different websites. It's all in the process of being in one place which is good I think but the only trick is to do that and not make it look completely chaotic.

Obviously in the middle of all that I receive the intuitive message that it's time to re brand the spiritual website in order to help my work reach a wider audience and prepare for my upcoming book, which yes, I am writing at the moment ( going good too! ). I am also writing the chapter outlines for the preceding book to that which needs to be done because they kind of coincide with each other. I have also just received the quote for another website I'm having built which I am RIDICULOUSLY excited about but also need a healthy lump sum to get going and in the middle of all this crazyness I decided it would be a good idea to explore going to back to University part time. Put all this with a busy day job, recording an album and keeping up with a social life has left me this morning, as expected, crashed out in bed.

It does sound like a lot on paper and believe me it is a lot in real life too but I have learned from mistakes of the past and I take regular time out to look after myself, walk my dog and spend time with my boyfriend. Doing all of this and doing it peacefully means doing it incrementally too. Piece by piece, day by day I slowly chip away at going through my lists and do my best to stick to my weekly plan ( a little tool I adopted years ago which saves my life constantly ). I always take a day off in the week to veg out, draw and watch ridiculous sci fi, really the worse the better. I don't know what it says about me but I actually started watching LOST recently. It doesn't scare me that I'm watching it but the fact I completely understand it sends cold sweats down my spine...

But I digress...

I'm busy but good busy, happy and loved, I have things to work towards and friends to share it with. Life is good and kind and peaceful and I feel lucky to be in a position where I can create more platforms to share with you.

Biggest Love

Ryan James

Happy New Year!

I feel so much more myself these days. This year has truly taught me about my centre and being authentic and how to express LOVE and PEACE more fluidly. I began the year feverish and trying everything I could to fix my life from the outside in. I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted things to look like and I was hell bent on making it happen. My spirit, the Universe and everything In between had other ideas. One small sleepless night in March started a sequence of events that has brought me to a place I thought I had let go of a long time ago.

This year taught me to truly respect myself and those around me. Some people have joined me on that journey this year and some have fallen away, I love them all non the less. It has been trying at times to draw that circle around myself, to treat myself and my environment as sacred. I have learned the real gift of being myself and finding my authenticity again. I had lost it, given parts of myself away to people who I thought knew better and in claiming it back I realised it's strength. When you truly stand in your own shoes, with your own voice in your own head you are unstoppable. You see where your energy has been leaking out and where you have been giving it away.

I have well and truly let go of the image of my life and have surrendered to it's substance. I no longer judge myself through other people's eyes or live by others standards. Believe me I was shocked to find out that I was still doing that. My creativity collapsed around me only to be rebuilt. I reawoke the dream I had as a seven year old to become a writer and finally let myself create in that way again. I learned to love art in a new way and built a community to share it. I even learned to love music again, this time with complete respect for myself and those within and around it.

This year has been a beginning for me. A lot of things have been set into motion, the fruit of which I might not see for a little while yet. The new house, going on holiday, meeting new people, starting a book, setting up an exhibition, cancelling a tour, starting an album, creating new partnerships, this whole process has been a rebirth and sharing it with you has been incredible. I finally live in reverance for my life and I am excited to see where it takes me.

Big Loves

Ry x