I want to learn how to do this....

 

I need to learn how to do this! Anyone want to get together for a dragon mache messathon????

 

 

Big Love

 

Ryan James

Sharing your privilege.

Sharing your privilege.

I love you when I get up in the morning and I love you when I go to bed. I love you whether we are friends or even if we haven't met. I love you for no other reason than to enjoy loving you. I love you even if you hate me or have gone out of your way to hurt me, my love will never be defined or diminished by your pain. I love you even if you have spread rumours about me and thought hateful things about me because I deserve to feel good about you even if you can't feel good about yourself. I love you no matter what and that will never change. Sometimes I might need a little help getting to that space but I will love myself on my journey there and love myself when I am there too.

Love cures you and uplifts you and changes you. Loving people who love you is easy, it's play time for the soul. Loving people who are only able to show you their pain right now is more challenging but it can be done and more importantly you deserve to love them. It is sometimes a privilege they cant give themselves.

I woke this morning thinking of the incredible journey I have been on. My dog woke me up to feed him by hitting me in the face with his nose and the love of my life snoozed dreamily next to me. I woke in a bed inside a house I love, in a city I love, in a job I love and with friends and family I love and I am so grateful to be here. I did spare a small thought for those that couldn't join me where I am and I am glad that I can now look back with an open and honest heart and see only the good memories that we shared. I walked passed my old flat yesterday and thought about the good times I had there, the times I partied and laughed and shared and healed in those four walls will forever be a defining chapter in my life. That time rooted me in who I am and the time I am living in now is allowing it to flourish.

I discovered the power and privilege of unconditional love. I have discovered peace. These are now the undercurrents of everything that takes place in my life. This doesn't mean I don't get angry, sad or confused at times but it does mean I can get back to my centre a lot quicker than I used to. When you learn to love and to practice unconditional love your life will unravel to a state of true authenticity which is something I think everyone has the ability to do. With that in mind, begin.

Big Love

Ryan James

www.psychicswansea.co.uk

www.facebook.com/psychicswansea

Chewing on a new idea...

Chewing on a new idea.

It is not very often in my life that I have felt truly lost. Don't get me wrong I regularly wander around the workings of my life like most people at some point feeling dazed and confused but I rarely, truly feel lost, especially as much as I have done this past year. Lost is that feeling of a quiet desperation behind a polite smile. Lost is a busy life masking a mind in pain. Lost is filling your time with the goals and dreams of others at the cost of your own heart. All of which I have done at points this year. My mum said that a lot of people “go a little funny” in their early thirties. It might be me dealing with no longer being young or maybe me not being where I thought I would be in my life. I have been forced into a state of perpetual surrender this past few years as I have opened my life to the feeling of true peace. The brighter this peace has become in my life the more glaringly obvious everything that is not of that peace has become.

I have prayed hard, talked to my friends relentlessly and done my best to ride the wave of evolution that has been working it's way through my system. I am generally the kind of person who, when I don't know what to do, I do EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. I work at every idea that crosses my mind and in the panic that has infiltrated my system over this last year it has often lead me to confuse desperate attempts at connection with genuine intuitive hunches. I know in my heart that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and exactly where I want to be. I know in my heart that I am living the life I am meant to and the life that is best for me but I also feel that the old remnants of an ego centred view of my life are preventing me from truly taking a good bite of the joy I have.

Each new level of self love demands a new level of trust in the Universe/God/The angels. I have put my life and my centre in it's hands plenty of times and been taken care of but my ego is effectively deceptive at helping me to forget to trust God. A jehovah's witness knocked my door the other day and began to unravel a picture of God as an absentee parent figure who is about to come back and give us all a slap around the head for being naughty boys and girls. I told him that God was the action of silence and he rests that silence on our heads because he has already put the answers to every question we may ever have in our hearts. We already know, I already know, as much as I may wrestle. The Jehovah's witness looked inspired, confused and began to stutter as he chewed on a new idea of God that challenged what he had been taught. I knew in that moment that I was doing the same. I have been stuttering around a new idea of being and living on the planet for a while now and it's time for me to trust more, love more and take the biggest bite I can!

Big Love

Ryan James

www.psychicswansea.co.uk

 

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!

Swansea looks beautiful today as the first taste of spring hits the sea turning it from its usual silver to a shining blue. I am curled up in my creative space writing away, chatting to the dog and he is fearlessly guarding me from his own reflection in the windows. This morning is all about chocolate! I thought I would do a small Easter hunt for my boyfriend and got a whole bunch of chocolate bunnies and hid them around the house. He loved it and it was cute watching him try and reach the things I had put on the higher shelves! Of course I got caught up in all the excitement and have forgotten where I have put one of the bunnies. So, with summer on it's way we are both going to have to wait until something smells before we find the damn thing! Fingers crossed we come across it before it goes green and fluffy...

Our anniversary went brilliantly yesterday and we just spent the whole day doing exactly what we felt like, which to be honest, wasn't much. We have both built a life that celebrates each other constantly so it's awesome doing things we would normally do on a special occasions. We buy each other presents, and go to see things we want to see and it doesn't matter if its an occasion or not. It was just another awesome day for us.

The tour is all a go and after putting it all up on the website it has become scarily real. I'm keeping myself centred throughout it and making sure I don't fall back onto old obsessive habits. I think that's going to be part of the healing this tour is going to give me. Finally laying to rest old wounds and allowing me a space just to enjoy my music and being creative within it. I think as with all healing curves there will be a lot to learn for me this time around. It's just a matter of learning the logistics of it and keeping myself centred. Weirdly I am not actually nervous about the tour itself, or about audience sizes, or about how it is viewed externally. I am more focussed on keeping myself where I am emotionally and spiritually and there's plenty of time between now and then to do a little work on myself.

With it being Easter I guess it's time for me to follow the magic in the air and give a little re birth to myself. See which parts I want to take forward and which ones to leave behind.

Big Love and Chocolate!

Ryan James

Yup, still hurts.....

 

So, the bruising on my back has started to heal and yes I'm hobbling around the house like something out of a horror movie but thankfully Stupot has a week off so I'm being looked after and being a pharmacist I can have all the meds I want!! If I wanted to spend the week believing Im a flying unicorn I'm sure he could hook me up! Although to be honest I always hate taking pills, I'm not sure if it's because of the chemicals or not but just never been a massive fan!

 

 We were planning on going to Cornwall for a few days because our anniversary is this week ( 3 years!!! what happened there?! ) but seeing as Cornwall is having it's own mini apocolypse I think I'll just drag me and the boy to Bristol to see the aquarium. I'm also dying to go to the natural history museum in London to see giant dinosaur bones but if we can't fit that in this week I shall organise a giant trip. The kind of trip with a mini bus and packed lunches. Ooh, that is so happening, I'll put the feelers out today.

 

I started painting on the 4 x 4 tiny plaques of wood I bought months ago and they actually turned out alright. I've learned it benefits to sand the wood first and I think I'm going to need new pens ( stationary addict ) so today is going to be a good day.

 

Big Love

 

Ryan James

 

 

Happy New Year!

I feel so much more myself these days. This year has truly taught me about my centre and being authentic and how to express LOVE and PEACE more fluidly. I began the year feverish and trying everything I could to fix my life from the outside in. I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted things to look like and I was hell bent on making it happen. My spirit, the Universe and everything In between had other ideas. One small sleepless night in March started a sequence of events that has brought me to a place I thought I had let go of a long time ago.

This year taught me to truly respect myself and those around me. Some people have joined me on that journey this year and some have fallen away, I love them all non the less. It has been trying at times to draw that circle around myself, to treat myself and my environment as sacred. I have learned the real gift of being myself and finding my authenticity again. I had lost it, given parts of myself away to people who I thought knew better and in claiming it back I realised it's strength. When you truly stand in your own shoes, with your own voice in your own head you are unstoppable. You see where your energy has been leaking out and where you have been giving it away.

I have well and truly let go of the image of my life and have surrendered to it's substance. I no longer judge myself through other people's eyes or live by others standards. Believe me I was shocked to find out that I was still doing that. My creativity collapsed around me only to be rebuilt. I reawoke the dream I had as a seven year old to become a writer and finally let myself create in that way again. I learned to love art in a new way and built a community to share it. I even learned to love music again, this time with complete respect for myself and those within and around it.

This year has been a beginning for me. A lot of things have been set into motion, the fruit of which I might not see for a little while yet. The new house, going on holiday, meeting new people, starting a book, setting up an exhibition, cancelling a tour, starting an album, creating new partnerships, this whole process has been a rebirth and sharing it with you has been incredible. I finally live in reverance for my life and I am excited to see where it takes me.

Big Loves

Ry x