It's cheesy and corny but it's true. I love this ball of fluff insane amounts! I would urge anyone thinking of getting an animal to rescue. They really are so loving!
Ryan James and Oscar!
I've also become one of those people who have a facebook page for their pet... and no, I don't have shame! wahaha xx
It is not very often in my
life that I have felt truly lost. Don't get me wrong I regularly
wander around the workings of my life like most people at some point
feeling dazed and confused but I rarely, truly feel lost, especially
as much as I have done this past year. Lost is that feeling of a
quiet desperation behind a polite smile. Lost is a busy life
masking a mind in pain. Lost is filling your time with the goals and
dreams of others at the cost of your own heart. All of which I have
done at points this year. My mum said that a lot of people “go a
little funny” in their early thirties. It might be me dealing with
no longer being young or maybe me not being where I thought I would
be in my life. I have been forced into a state of perpetual surrender
this past few years as I have opened my life to the feeling of true
peace. The brighter this peace has become in my life the more
glaringly obvious everything that is not of that peace has become.
I have prayed hard, talked
to my friends relentlessly and done my best to ride the wave of
evolution that has been working it's way through my system. I am
generally the kind of person who, when I don't know what to do, I do
EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. I work at every idea that
crosses my mind and in the panic that has infiltrated my system over
this last year it has often lead me to confuse desperate attempts at
connection with genuine intuitive hunches. I know in my heart
that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and exactly where I want
to be. I know in my heart that I am living the life I am meant to and
the life that is best for me but I also feel that the old remnants of
an ego centred view of my life are preventing me from truly taking a
good bite of the joy I have.
Each new level of self
love demands a new level of trust in the Universe/God/The angels. I
have put my life and my centre in it's hands plenty of times and been
taken care of but my ego is effectively deceptive at helping me to
forget to trust God. A jehovah's witness knocked my door the other
day and began to unravel a picture of God as an absentee parent
figure who is about to come back and give us all a slap around the
head for being naughty boys and girls. I told him that God was the
action of silence and he rests that silence on our heads because he
has already put the answers to every question we may ever have in our
hearts. We already know, I already know, as much as I may
wrestle. The Jehovah's witness looked inspired, confused and began to
stutter as he chewed on a new idea of God that challenged what he had
been taught. I knew in that moment that I was doing the same. I
have been stuttering around a new idea of being and living on the
planet for a while now and it's time for me to trust more, love more
and take the biggest bite I can!
Well here is my weekly doodle! I decided to do Illustration Friday this week although as much as I love doing it I can never seem to find the time to actually paint up my drawings! Never mind though, Christmas is swiftly on my tail and I’m sure I’ll get some down time to catch up on a few paintings. This weeks word was “Phenomenon”, which stumped me a little but I thought maybe some sort of mythical creature would be fun. I actually sat down to draw a dragon but for some reason a mermaid appeared on the page! Ah well I guess she fancied saying hello to the world! I so desperately need an A3 scanner though so I can start getting better quality digital images of my work. My camera is crappy and right at this moment I cannot for the life of me figure out how to transfer photoshop from my old laptop onto my new one, if anyone can help I can bribe you with cookies!
On the tour front it’s just at the waiting game stage. Everything is good to go it’s just waiting for some of the venues to confirm, I have more or less finished the Album design to have it printed and hopefully I’ll shift a few copies. The itunes sales are going ok but I want them to be better. I only have one gig left for this year and it’s at a comedy night in Cardiff (The Promise Bar, 22nd Dec), it’s a venue I haven’t played before but it should go ok, so, as long as there’s a PA I’m there!
I also dragged my bum to the cold beach this week to work on a project that I’d never tried before. Making a small video to go with one of my songs off the album. I went to the place I wrote the song and just took my camcorder and tried to make some interesting shots of the sea while keeping in mind the song. The humming within the song was inspired by me watching the sea and its rhythm so it seemed the most appropriate place to go. Ill put it below so you can have a peek. It’s inspired me to work on some more, i’m just waiting for a creative idea to pop into my head and then I’m all systems go!
As for the writing! Yes I have FINALLY started my new book. I’m not going to hammer at it, just chip away bit by bit until it’s done! It’s not a spiritual book because that kind of writing doesn’t like me right now! So, I’m just allowing the creativity of the characters in the book to flow through my head and I’ll just see where it takes me! That should be it for this week! Ill try and squeeze in another blog before Xmas!
