Thursday, 22 July 2010

Jihad in my Kitchen....

Jihad in my kitchen

It happened again. I thought my enemy was defeated and this was passed but I was wrong…. sooo wrong…..

I walked into my kitchen and there it was looking right at me. It must have found another way in. We have fought many wars over the years and sometimes… I have won and sometimes I only thought I did. Oh the sneaky bastards only let me think I’ve won but when my back was turned there they were again. Laughing.

The slug looked at me with its slug eyes and mocked me with it’s slug soul as it smugly sauntered up my kitchen bin toward slug nirvana. It can kiss my ass. The last two days I have woken up to a slug trail in my music room which was getting dangerously close to my drums and there’s nothing worse than feverishly hallucinating to the point where a slug trail reads “Fuck You Mammal!” all over the music room floor.

I leapt across the kitchen floor in a Crouching-Tiger-Hidden-Homosexual-Fury armed with nothing more than a tissue and some mental instability… it made a run for it, but luckily, slugs are quite slow so it didn’t get far. We wrestled. I screamed. It screamed (well I felt it scream from it’s soul) and I cast it out to the garden. Where it waits……and waits…

I’m sure it’s telling it’s story in the slug barracks today of the great battle of Yellow Bin whilst plotting and scheming of it’s return. We will meet again slug. We will.