I've had a feeling for a short while
that around December 1st there would be a shift beginning
in my life. I don't know what it is exactly but I am sure now that
it's begun. Too many things from my history have turned up for me to
clear up and resolve. I think the Mercury Retrograde definitely
helped me to clear up any unresolved energies from my past. One of
the things it brought to the surface was an old feeling of self
doubt. I've been working with and healing through a lot of my self
worth issues over the last year or so and doing all I can to clear up
any residual “not good enough”'s. Something that always happens
when you start to go in a new direction is that anything
contradictory to that direction within your energy system tends to
show up. In the past I mistook these for “signs”, but they
weren't. They were just residual ideas of who I used to be.
Everything in my life has begun
happening at a much slower, easier pace. Weirdly enough the less
effort I have been putting into my life the more that seems to be
accomplished. I chip away at bits and pieces of everything, making
sure to add slowly little bits and pieces of everything I love to my
daily routine, including writing, which now has become my favourite
part of my morning routine. Sending out the morning blogs and mailing
lists doesn't take a lot of time and I thoroughly enjoy it. I also
think I'm not so secretly preparing myself for a lot more writing
projects next year with all my book ideas slowly solidifying in my
head. I lost a lot of the initial writing I did when the last hard
drive went Kapoof! But deep down I wasn't that upset or annoyed so I
must know somewhere in my consciousness that something richer can be
achieved.
My art exhibit has been up nearly a
week now which seems to have been less than the blink of an eye and I
have no idea yet if anything has sold. If it hasn't I guess i'll
start putting more things online because I am quickly running out of
room in my little man cave! I have enjoyed the space to start working
on my art and developing it more. I think that there has been an
emotional distance within the paintings that needs to be fulfilled. I
have very much been working on my technique and colour so now
creating something with a bit of belly seems to be the right balance.
I still have everything based around character design but they are
changing. I'll keep you posted.
Musically the new collection of songs
is coming together nicely but slowly. I still get ridiculously
excited when it comes to creating music and I think the feverish OCD
obsessional nature has finally mostly subsided. “Machine” is the
first song that's been crafted ( and that is the right word ) and I
am over the moon at how it sounds. I am re-doing “Veins” from the
last album and “Heart is Thunder” a piano tune are both nearly at
completion too. This first little triad sounds so exactly where I
want it to go and want it to be that I am instinctively protective
over it. Don't worry though, for any of you out there that like my
tunes I shall post stuff and have some sort of party when it's all
done. I am also definitely re-branding and re-packaging my creative
outlets into a single space. I simply don't have the time to manage
an art site, music site and writing site and spiritual site plus with
art swaps an origami society and a few other creative expressions
it's just a bit all over the place so next year it will all be
condensed into two separate spaces. One for my creative work and the
other for my spiritual work. I shall facebook the hell out of all of
you when it's up and ready.
Big Love
Ryan
