Friday, 31 December 2010

New Year Ramblings....

It’s that lovely reflective time of year, but let’s face it, I reflect every five seconds so this is no more different than usual. I’ve looked over some of my diaries for the last year and a lot has changed and yet some things in my life haven’t budged an inch. Or I feel they haven’t anyway. I just have no idea what’s next for me. I know clearly what I want for the next year and I’m very much looking forward to the things I have planned but today is the day where I make a bet with myself. How brave will I be this new year? In 2010 I did something I haven’t done in a very long time, I opened my heart to someone. He’s held it beautifully and does everything he can to make sure that the love we are creating together is growing and evolving and I’m doing my best to do the same.

In terms of music I have a few ideas up my sleeve this year and I’m looking forward to exploring loads of them but my main focus is simple. Gig more, gig often, and gig further away. I love Swansea and I love playing here but I’m just feeling the need to stretch my wings a little and find some new faces and new places. I’ve banded together with a couple of musicians and we are planning an onslaught of the UK in mid to late February and I have all my fingers crossed that it all goes to plan. I have more music to record, an acoustic piano EP to sort out and a few other side projects to invest some time in but my main focus cant change. Gig more, gig often and gig further away.

I feel in a lot of ways over the last few months I have begun to lose touch with my “inner musician-ness”. That optimism and drive has seemed to dwindle. The passion and desire to create never shifts but my focus has been blurry. I have meditated, read the cards, found my centre and am making a new start. Re heating the fire in my belly. I don’t think I’m quite there yet but I will be very soon. I’ve been journaling my ass off and getting clearer and clearer of the flavour of life I want to experience next. Maybe I get too caught up in the “How will this happen?” side of things instead of looking to find a creative solution. Well, maybe that can be something to explore this new year, I’ll put that on the list ( oh never ending lists ).

I do want to say though, to all of you out there who listen, watch, support and are there at the end of the phone, at the click of a text message or listening to my late night ramblings online, THANK YOU! You’ve helped me a lot, when I’ve questioned and doubted myself, when my confidence needed lifting and especially through every drama riddled artistic trailer door slamming toys out of the pram throwing unashamedly flamboyant hissy fit having moment I’ve had, YOU lot have been there and I’m grateful for that. Really.

Now without too much to say, I want you all to put your glad rags on and make a big bright toast to a new year. Just be sure to have FUN!


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