Wednesday, 2 October 2013

How to live through grief.


How to live through grief.

We all grieve. We grieve for people that have transitioned to spirit, we grieve for who we were, we grieve for our innocence and we grieve for the living we have had to let go. We are all on some level in a state of grief because we are all on some level surrendering something. Grief is not simply missing someone, it is an acute and extremely tangible pain that demands healing and attention. It is generally not something that can be put on the back burner. The passing of time can help you to learn to live with it but what can we do to actually heal it?

When a dramatic change has entered your life and grief takes over there is one truth that we need to accept. You will never be the same again. You are different now and will be for the rest of your life. It is completely in your hands whether that can instigate a move towards becoming a stronger more loving version of yourself or whether the grief takes over and you cease to move forward. You will not only mourn for whatever has left your life but you will also mourn for the person YOU were during that interaction.

The first step is to make peace with a new version of who you are. This can feel extremely uneasy and in the cases where the grief is centred around a person transitioning to spirit, it can even feel a little disrespectful but it is a necessary step toward healing. If you are grieving a relationship loss then you can take what you have learned and make it onto something with a positive momentum in your life. If you are grieving a person you can take their love and light and allow it to continue it's work on the planet through you and your actions. There is no right and wrong way to handle grief, I have grieved very differently for different stages in my life. Relationship breakdowns, grandparents transitioning, a friend unexpectedly transitioning, friendships dissolving and generally growing and becoming a new person have required me to grieve in different ways at different times. You learn make peace with who you were within that experience and lovingly say goodbye to that old you and then you allow the new you to fill in the gaps. It can and will be challenging but it can be done.

Whatever your grief is please, be easy on yourself. Don't waste time trying to feel normal again, you have a new normal now, and it will serve you best to look for whatever that is for you. If you need to get things off your chest and no one is about then email me. I can't promise I will be able to answer all of you but I can promise that I will do my best and that I will keep you all in my prayers and my heart.

Big Love

Ryan James


  1. You are so right, Ryan. There is no right way or wrong way to handle grief. You have some ideas here. Thank you for sharing! :)

    1. No problem, I hope that by sharing my experiences it can help others with theirs. x

  2. Making peace with the new version of myself really hit home with me. Things in life change who we are. There's usually nothing wrong with that. We need to come to peace with it and not become bitter or resentful.